Hi Guys!
I know it's been forever since I blogged but I have been super busy writing a book, battling my Starbucks addiction and killing myself in the gym!
Anyway, I have just started a new photo-blog: http://missteephotography.blogspot.com/
Please come and have a look if you have a spare minute. Comments and feedback welcome. And if you like what you see, please follow.
Thank you. S x
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Sunday, 28 February 2010
To all curvy women out there...
Whilst reading my favourite on-line news pages the other day, I came across a report titled... Curvy women 'like a drug to male brain'
Apparently "Men can get the same high looking at a woman's hourglass figure as drinking alcohol or taking drugs, new research reveals. According to the US study, looking at a curvaceous figure activates the part of the brain associated with feelings of reward."
There's hope for me yet!!! Yay!
Apparently "Men can get the same high looking at a woman's hourglass figure as drinking alcohol or taking drugs, new research reveals. According to the US study, looking at a curvaceous figure activates the part of the brain associated with feelings of reward."
There's hope for me yet!!! Yay!
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Boo!
I'm getting a little bit worried because this week I have become increasingly broody. It is not an uncommon emotion for me as I have always known I would like children, but this week it has been more apparent.
I think it must be a combination of:
1. Being surrounded by the offspring of friends and relatives - all the time! Tiny little rug-rats seem to be popping out all over the place.
2. Going shopping in Baby Gap - which is never a good idea. Even if you're not broody, all those cute little outfits suck you in and brainwash you. You can't help but leave wanting a baby just so you can dress it up in little denims and psychedelic tops (they had the most adorable little denim pinafore dress with pink flowers on by the way).
3. Being nearer to 40 than 30 (though shhhh, don't tell anyone!) with a biological clock ticking louder than a jackhammer.
Anyhoo, whatever the reason, I am still a Singleton with no potential baby-daddy on the horizon, so I will just have to make do with my cats!
This is Boo. As surrogate babies go, she quite cute (but very naughty!)
I think it must be a combination of:
1. Being surrounded by the offspring of friends and relatives - all the time! Tiny little rug-rats seem to be popping out all over the place.
2. Going shopping in Baby Gap - which is never a good idea. Even if you're not broody, all those cute little outfits suck you in and brainwash you. You can't help but leave wanting a baby just so you can dress it up in little denims and psychedelic tops (they had the most adorable little denim pinafore dress with pink flowers on by the way).
3. Being nearer to 40 than 30 (though shhhh, don't tell anyone!) with a biological clock ticking louder than a jackhammer.
Anyhoo, whatever the reason, I am still a Singleton with no potential baby-daddy on the horizon, so I will just have to make do with my cats!
This is Boo. As surrogate babies go, she quite cute (but very naughty!)
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Singles Guide to Valentines
Over time, it seems to have become a national past time to ridicule and mock Singletons for not having a Valentine on February 14th. To arm against potential scoffing, I bring you...
The Singletons Handbook – A Guide to convincing others that somebody loves you on Valentines Day
(I know that this Valentines actually falls on a Sunday - a non-working day for most people, but I thought I would share anyway!)
1. Ask your boss loudly for Valentines Day off work because you need to be at home to receive all of the flowers and gifts that are going to be delivered during the day.
OR…
2. Be half an hour late for work and then explain to everyone who will listen that it took you that long to climb over the mountain of Valentines that were blocking the front door.
3. Bribe all your friends with cocktails / beer to send you Valentines Cards at work – it may cost you a little more to get them to include gushy love messages, but it is well worth it for authenticity purposes.
4. Buy a bouquet of flowers and have them delivered to work – costly, I know, but flowers are always nice to have around the house anyway.
5. Send yourself text messages so your phone beeps every few minutes – and then when it does beep, tell everyone ‘somebody loves me!’ If anyone wants to see any of said texts, tell them you can’t possibly show them as they are a) far too personal, b) far too explicit or c) contain pictures of naked body parts. This will normally put most people off wanting to look further.
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
Frappachino and Oxygen please!
I know I am weak!
Today, I didn't make it past Starbucks without being sucked in! Seriously though, just when I thought ordering a simple drink couldn't get more complicated, it does!
Normally, I have to take a deep breath before plowing into: "I'd like a Venti Caramel Coffee Frappachino Light, no cream, to take away please" Deep breath again before passing out through lack of oxygen. And that's if I'm on my own! It's even more hazardous to my health if I have to order two or more drinks!
Now though, apparently if you want super-smooth drinks you have to ask for them to be double-blended! So from now on...
"I'd like a Venti Caramel Coffee Frappachino Light, no cream, double-blended, to take away... and a tank of oxygen please"!
Monday, 8 February 2010
10 Rules to being Single
The Singletons Handbook - 10 Rules to being Single
1. It’s OK to be single – the world is not going to come to an end, the Universe is not going to implode, and contrary to popular belief, you are not going to become a social pariah.
2. Never date your boss – it is really, really hard to find another job in this economy when it all goes horribly wrong.
3. Never use the chat-up line ‘Hey babe, why don’t you and I get nipple-to-nipple together?’ – it didn’t work in the movies; it sure as hell isn’t going to work in real life.
4. Never trust ‘profile’ photos when using on-line dating agencies – Photoshop can do wonders nowadays.
5. Always have a ‘Plan B’ get-out clause for bad first date scenarios – that way, if the other person is truly awful, you can jump ship without being stuck there for the duration.
6. Never date a Mother/Daughter, Father/Son combo EVER – do you really want you character / performance compared, analysed and assassinated? Plus, it’s just plain wrong!
7. Never put-out on a first date – controversial I know, but there is definitely something to be said for leaving the other person wanting. Less is, unquestionably, more.
8. It’s OK to ridicule ‘Smug Marrieds’ (overtly loved-up couples who feel the need to display their ‘happiness’ to everyone they meet) - they are probably secretly wishing they were single, just like you.
9. It’s acceptable to say you need the loo and then climb out the window, shinny down the drainpipe and do a runner if your date…
a. Tells you that Katie Price and Alex Read are their relationship inspirations
b. Spends the entire time talking about their cat/dog/budgie/stick insect as if it were their ‘baby’
c. Bursts into tears and tells you they still can’t understand why their ex dumped them for being too emotional
d. Asks you whether you think 5 children is too many and whether you think 4 would be better
10. It’s OK to lust after fictitious TV and Film actors / characters – you have to get your vicarious kicks somewhere.
1. It’s OK to be single – the world is not going to come to an end, the Universe is not going to implode, and contrary to popular belief, you are not going to become a social pariah.
2. Never date your boss – it is really, really hard to find another job in this economy when it all goes horribly wrong.
3. Never use the chat-up line ‘Hey babe, why don’t you and I get nipple-to-nipple together?’ – it didn’t work in the movies; it sure as hell isn’t going to work in real life.
4. Never trust ‘profile’ photos when using on-line dating agencies – Photoshop can do wonders nowadays.
5. Always have a ‘Plan B’ get-out clause for bad first date scenarios – that way, if the other person is truly awful, you can jump ship without being stuck there for the duration.
6. Never date a Mother/Daughter, Father/Son combo EVER – do you really want you character / performance compared, analysed and assassinated? Plus, it’s just plain wrong!
7. Never put-out on a first date – controversial I know, but there is definitely something to be said for leaving the other person wanting. Less is, unquestionably, more.
8. It’s OK to ridicule ‘Smug Marrieds’ (overtly loved-up couples who feel the need to display their ‘happiness’ to everyone they meet) - they are probably secretly wishing they were single, just like you.
9. It’s acceptable to say you need the loo and then climb out the window, shinny down the drainpipe and do a runner if your date…
a. Tells you that Katie Price and Alex Read are their relationship inspirations
b. Spends the entire time talking about their cat/dog/budgie/stick insect as if it were their ‘baby’
c. Bursts into tears and tells you they still can’t understand why their ex dumped them for being too emotional
d. Asks you whether you think 5 children is too many and whether you think 4 would be better
10. It’s OK to lust after fictitious TV and Film actors / characters – you have to get your vicarious kicks somewhere.
Thursday, 4 February 2010
I dreamed a dream
I don’t know whether it was seeing the trailer for Supernatural, blogging about Jenson Ackles, or just wishful thinking, but I had a bizarre dream last night. This is what happened…
The dream started with Dean Winchester (swoon) and me driving around an airport car park in his iconic ’67 black Chevy Impala and we were a couple (double swoon) getting ready to go on holiday. There were loads of spaces and Dean couldn’t decide which one to park in (which actually is a subconscious reflection of my inability to do exactly the same thing when faced with too many parking options!). Anyhoo, after re-parking the car four or five times (Dean said he didn’t want his baby to get scratched while we were away!), we head off to the main terminal like any normal couple. On reflection, we didn’t have any luggage… but I guess that’s not really necessary in a dream!
Before we check in, Dean says he needs to get some money so we head off to the Bureau de Change. As we are stood there in the queue, hand in hand (swoon again!), a side door opens and a gnarly looking Hunter appears. Dean tells me not to look at him – don’t make eye contact and maybe he would go away! Nothing was going to stop us going on holiday. Apparently we deserved a rest after dispatching a particularly troublesome evil-doer back to the pits of hell. After a lot of frantic waving and weird hissing noises trying to get our attention, we decide we better go and see what the old goat wants. Gnarly Hunter says he needs our help with a tiny problem – shouldn’t take too long, then we could be on our way. What the hell, we thought. He takes us down a corridor and through another door.
Shuffling down another corridor towards us is Joe Shmo (general office dude) in a kind of weird zombie-type state with a blob of weird luminescent green goop on his left shoulder. Doesn’t sound too scary – right? Gnarly Hunter explains that we need to save Joe from the green blob before it sucks all the good out of him and turns him into a mindless soul sucking un-dead monster. No pressure then! Never one to back away from a challenge we agree to help – and suddenly are armed with an impressive array of weaponry. Don’t ask where they came from… it’s a dream… artistic licence is allowed! Just then I notice that Dean has been slimed with the green goo on his left shoulder, and after looking at my own shoulder, so have I. Gnarly Hunter tells us that he has infected us to ensure that we succeed in figuring out how to kill the blob. Nice! I wanted to take out Gnarly Hunter there and then for being a sneaky SOB but Dean said that would have to wait so I pointed my finger at him menacingly and told him I would be back to kick his arse. I’m totally intimidating, right?!
We follow Joe down the corridor and right into a kind of coffee lounge where there are about 8 or 9 other office staff, all with the green slime on their left shoulders. Before we could do anything though, Joe turns around and looks straight at us before doing a weird convulsing, shuddery thing. Then, without warning (which is quite rude I thought) his face melts off (I know, gross, right?), and what’s left is oozing mush with a set of snapping teeth and two beady, glowing red eyes. Mushy Joe then comes flying towards us all bitey-teeth and razor-sharp claw-hands. Dean and I are about to pump him full of rock-salt when a weird churning, spluttering, choking noise stops everyone in their tracks. Even Mushy Joe looks around confused. Chug, chug, splutter, thuppppp, urrrrrrrr, splutter, chuuuuuuuuuug (that’s my attempt at an impression of the noise!) What the…? I recognised the noise – but could I place it?!
That’s when I work up and realised the ‘chug, chug, splutter, thuppppp, urrrrrrrr, splutter, chuuuuuuuuuug’ was indeed a noise I am unfortunately very familiar with. It’s nextdoors crappy, ancient, diesel car which goes through the same spluttery routine trying to start every morning at 6.30!
So, here I am left with the memory of a hot boyf and a load of unanswered questions:
What was that green goop?
Did we survive the attack from Mushy Joe?
Did Dean and I save ourselves from the green goop on our shoulders?
Did I get to kick Gnarly Hunters arse (he seriously deserved it!)
And most importantly...
Where were we going on holiday???
The dream started with Dean Winchester (swoon) and me driving around an airport car park in his iconic ’67 black Chevy Impala and we were a couple (double swoon) getting ready to go on holiday. There were loads of spaces and Dean couldn’t decide which one to park in (which actually is a subconscious reflection of my inability to do exactly the same thing when faced with too many parking options!). Anyhoo, after re-parking the car four or five times (Dean said he didn’t want his baby to get scratched while we were away!), we head off to the main terminal like any normal couple. On reflection, we didn’t have any luggage… but I guess that’s not really necessary in a dream!
Before we check in, Dean says he needs to get some money so we head off to the Bureau de Change. As we are stood there in the queue, hand in hand (swoon again!), a side door opens and a gnarly looking Hunter appears. Dean tells me not to look at him – don’t make eye contact and maybe he would go away! Nothing was going to stop us going on holiday. Apparently we deserved a rest after dispatching a particularly troublesome evil-doer back to the pits of hell. After a lot of frantic waving and weird hissing noises trying to get our attention, we decide we better go and see what the old goat wants. Gnarly Hunter says he needs our help with a tiny problem – shouldn’t take too long, then we could be on our way. What the hell, we thought. He takes us down a corridor and through another door.
Shuffling down another corridor towards us is Joe Shmo (general office dude) in a kind of weird zombie-type state with a blob of weird luminescent green goop on his left shoulder. Doesn’t sound too scary – right? Gnarly Hunter explains that we need to save Joe from the green blob before it sucks all the good out of him and turns him into a mindless soul sucking un-dead monster. No pressure then! Never one to back away from a challenge we agree to help – and suddenly are armed with an impressive array of weaponry. Don’t ask where they came from… it’s a dream… artistic licence is allowed! Just then I notice that Dean has been slimed with the green goo on his left shoulder, and after looking at my own shoulder, so have I. Gnarly Hunter tells us that he has infected us to ensure that we succeed in figuring out how to kill the blob. Nice! I wanted to take out Gnarly Hunter there and then for being a sneaky SOB but Dean said that would have to wait so I pointed my finger at him menacingly and told him I would be back to kick his arse. I’m totally intimidating, right?!
We follow Joe down the corridor and right into a kind of coffee lounge where there are about 8 or 9 other office staff, all with the green slime on their left shoulders. Before we could do anything though, Joe turns around and looks straight at us before doing a weird convulsing, shuddery thing. Then, without warning (which is quite rude I thought) his face melts off (I know, gross, right?), and what’s left is oozing mush with a set of snapping teeth and two beady, glowing red eyes. Mushy Joe then comes flying towards us all bitey-teeth and razor-sharp claw-hands. Dean and I are about to pump him full of rock-salt when a weird churning, spluttering, choking noise stops everyone in their tracks. Even Mushy Joe looks around confused. Chug, chug, splutter, thuppppp, urrrrrrrr, splutter, chuuuuuuuuuug (that’s my attempt at an impression of the noise!) What the…? I recognised the noise – but could I place it?!
That’s when I work up and realised the ‘chug, chug, splutter, thuppppp, urrrrrrrr, splutter, chuuuuuuuuuug’ was indeed a noise I am unfortunately very familiar with. It’s nextdoors crappy, ancient, diesel car which goes through the same spluttery routine trying to start every morning at 6.30!
So, here I am left with the memory of a hot boyf and a load of unanswered questions:
What was that green goop?
Did we survive the attack from Mushy Joe?
Did Dean and I save ourselves from the green goop on our shoulders?
Did I get to kick Gnarly Hunters arse (he seriously deserved it!)
And most importantly...
Where were we going on holiday???
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